suburban mom

so my mom and i went out shopping for some stuff this weekend, and we took willow with us...peyton stayed home with daddy since he had an ear infection.

anyways, as we are pulling into target in my suv (toyota hylander), my mom looks at me and says (half teasingly) that i am such a "suburban mom". I asked if she meant soccer mom, and she said no...not yet...just that i am just such a "mom" now...i take so much of the kids stuff in stride and my life is mostly about my kids now.

i guess i just didnt know any different anymore...as much as i think that i want my old life back (pre-kiddos), i am accepting the reality that it isnt going to happen...even when jeff and i get away for a night together...i am still somebody's mom...thats never going to change now...and its amazing how capable i feel these days...way more so that when i first had peyton...i dont think we left the house by ourselves except to go to mother/baby hour for the first few months! 2 weeks after i had willow at home, we were all out the door together alone for trips to the stores and whatnot...life just is. i cant change it, and i'm not really sure how i would change it if i could, except for the usual "more time in the day" stuff...but i wanted that prior to having kids cuz i just have too many darn interests.

so what makes someone a "suburban mom"? is it the ability to put aside selfish wants and focus on your kids needs? is it someone who hosts the playdates and doesnt mind the mess it creates in the process? is it the mom who always has the homemade cookies ready for a snack when the kids get home from school? who knows? i am not many of those things...i try to be, but i dont always succeed...in fact i fail more often than i care to admit...my intentions are always good and pure, but somehow my plan is never fully the plan that unfolds through the day. funny how that works...but its never really been "my plan" all along...even before kids, i was following God's plan...it just more "in your face" obvious when my plan differs from Gods plan now that I have kids....and i'm learning to accept that...and to try to give my day, myself, and my kids to God throughout the day. its hard...but man does it ever make for a nicer day when i do, and stop fighting the little bumps in the road from day to day. i make it work somehow...we all end up alive at the end of the day, and no one has been sold on ebay...yet ;)

i do love my life 98% of the time...there are always those moments that make me want to go back in time to when it was simpler and less "adult"...but after a little pity party (or a big one depending on the moment), i go back to my reality as it is, and move on...happily...my life is what it is, and i am ok with that....suburban mom or not.